If I’ve learned anything this month, it’s how dependent motivation and self-discipline can be on good health. I kept imagining, all through this convalescence from pneumonia, that each next day I would regain my interests, that I’d want to know what was going on in the world, that I’d want to read or write or at least make plans for when my body was well again, but it didn’t happen for weeks. Over the month, I managed to get things done that had to be done, but oh, how I missed the feeling of purpose and focus that I’m used to.
There are so many things I take for granted in an ordinary day. I don’t want to lose this new-found tenderness, this awareness of the grace which hovers over life.
This morning, my daughter and I made big mugs of dark coffee and took them out to the back deck to talk and watch the day arrive. Already, the mornings here are cool and tinged with Fall. By the time Fall really arrives next month, my daughter will be in France, so we are stealing all the moments we can together. Every time I’m with her I’m filled with that strange mixture of pride and fear and sorrow and joy that accompanies sending a child into their adulthood. Being a mother, a parent, is a continual prying open of your hands and heart.
Looking at the calendar over my desk, I see that today is also the birthday of Tasha Tudor. That makes me smile, for I’ve been thinking of her words lately:
“I enjoy solitude. It's probably selfish, but why bother about it. Life is much too important, as Oscar Wilde said, to be taken seriously. I feel so sorry for those mothers who are devastated by loneliness when their children fly the coop and don't want to live at home anymore. They feel lost, but look what exciting things can be done. Life isn't long enough to do all you could accomplish. And what a privilege to be alive. In spite of all the pollutions and horrors, how beautiful this world is. Supposing you only saw the stars once every year. Think what you would think. The wonder of it!”
It’s true. Life continues to open and open and there is so much more to look forward to, so much to treasure.
Tasha always had tea and a nap in the afternoon, so I think I will do the same in her honor today. :)
Looking forward to getting back to posts and books and words. Thanks for your patience, friends.
Peace keep you,